Wednesday, 30 October 2013

Did I ever tell you I hate HR trainers?

I am a comic, an ex-teacher, an ex military instructor...And I am awesome at working a room and getting people to learn. There are reams of feedback forms that tell me I am a God of educating people.

But, I cannot secure a job as a HR trainer without a CIPD qualification. I don't want one. I really don't because it seems like a shit needless qualification. You can either educate a room, or you can't...It doesn't matter whether you have a piece of paper or not. This is why I am not upset at the governments plans to allow people to teach without a BEd or PGCE. Those bits of paper will say you deliver material to certain standards, but all I found my PGCE did was limit me and stifle my creativity because some bitch thought I should do it her way. Luckily other people let me do it my way and so I was happy. Then I entered the system again and some Dick said I had to do it his way, and I told school teaching to go fuck itself.

But I am a God of educating people. I am not a God of paperwork, homework, bullshit and external forces. Free the teacher, free the school. Let somebody teach as they can teach, and the passion will inspire the room. If they can't do it, the class will soon tell them. Kids are assholes and will expose weakness. It is another debate how discipline will allow good educators to thrive because they want to educate and shouldn't have to be social workers and make up for piss poor parenting. Consistenly bad kids should be broken by Drill Sgts. And screw your opinion if you disagree. You're wrong as always. Deal with it and move on.

Here is a simple way of assessing teaching.
1) Is learning taking place?
2) Is the learning appropriate?
3) Is the learning fun?

That's it. No need for BEd, PGCE, CIPD, OFSTED or any other piece of shit paperwork or pencil pushing idiot to sit in pulling a face. These 3 points will cover all eventualities.

Back to slagging HR trainers with their CIPD crap. The CIPD is a racket, you have to have one...So pay us. No. I don't have to have one. Go out of business!

HR trainers really are shit...I guess the CIPD is where you get your personality removed and replaced with flipchart pens and shitty team games. Did I tell you I loathe HR trainers with a passion? Several times.

This is an example of the kind of shit I have seen in a HR lead training session by some dull individual.
I have seen a Chaka moment in real life and this was pretty much my reaction to it. I will sit out of your activities, I have no shame and find anything I dislike to be not worth bothering with. A trainer made the mistake of trying to make me feel guilty, so I said "I'll be back in half an hour when you've got over this childish crap," then went off to chat to the receptionist for a while, and walked back in with a scotch egg and a coffee when she was working the flipchart paper. "I'm going to sit back and let you do some work now, fill in some shit on the flipchart paper."....I'd rather not.

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