Friday, 12 April 2013

Stop Filming Gigs you fools

This BBC article expertly espouses that patience with the modern way of attending a gig and filming it on your smartphone, has worn thin. 

Holding a phone aloft or sitting on your boyfriend's shoulders - both show a total lack of respect to those around you who have paid high prices to watch a live show. This attitude is far too common in modern day society: playing music on a bus, using a mobile in a quiet zone on a train, sending and receiving texts during a theatrical performance. It's the "me, me" selfish society we now live in.

Indeed, I despise these people who think nothing of imposing their presence upon the rest of us, and would advocate a sense of citizen justice. Haul the girl onto the floor, and when the boyfriend attempts to defend her, he is kicked to the deck by a mob...Both are then handed an A4 sheet of paper, upon which is written their transgressions.

Snatch and then over-arm throw the smart throw into the crowd if one is suddenly thrust into your line of sight. "You lost your phone because you're a selfish prick!" Any attempts to start a fight will be snuffed out by the mob kicking the smart phone transgressor to the floor. Repeat A4 sheet. Somebody ruining the quiet zone on a train, gather a crowd and then choke that person with a tie until they pass out.

Sending a text during a performance, your phone will be snapped in two in front of you. Harsh? Yes. But ask yourself this question...Would you fall foul of my system? If so, then you're an idiot who lacks self awareness and respect for others and you deserve a damned good kicking.

Monday, 8 April 2013

Margaret Thatcher.

She was a polarising figure, that much is evident! 

Thing is, polarising figure means that they're loved and hated in equal measure...Surely this is a good thing? It means there is a natural divide to vote for, not like today where identikit men in suits battle over the same turf because they want everybody to love them equally.

Walking the centre ground is asinine and boring simply because by walking the centre ground, you offend both sides of the political divide equally, and hence doom your country to endless coalition and ineffective governance.

Remember this, for all people seemed to hate Thatcher, she won three elections. Cue various theories as to why this is, usually citing the Falklands and Kinnocks meltdown speech. Nobody states "She won because of the superior number of votes her party received." I also think, people remembered this.

Thursday, 4 April 2013

This is the End

North Korea, home of the lard assed man child in charge of a twitchy hated nation, will attempt to nuke nuke the USA.

I predict a bit of a cluster-fuck will ensue.

Most other countries will stand their ground, agog, for 24 hours to work out what exactly is happening and digest the rolling news footage of unimaginable carnage and then Israel will take the opportunity to attack Iran/Syria.

China and Russia who were silent whilst North Korea received the justice due its leaders, but not the people (although innocent people always die in war, sadly), will defend Iran and Syria

The war will spread, the USA will demand a cessation to hostilities, China and Russia will point to the crater that is North Korea, Iran and Syria and simply say they're stopping the rot. The USA will not take this insult well, nor will NATO.

WWIII...or something like that.


This whole cluster-fuck will take place in slow motion, and I will sit and watch the mushrooms growing from a hilltop...Whilst Massive Attack's Teardrop surrounds me until oblivion.