Saturday, 22 September 2012

Apple Twats

So I see, another product launch from the favourite company of 'more money than sense' consumers has arrived. Needless to say these self same consumers, or Apple Twats as I like to call them, are all foaming at the mouth and queuing at the door of Apple stores.
This sickens me.
Queue for food? yes...queue for water? yes...Queue for a phone?...No!

Why do the media pander to this bullshit? Why take photographs of it? Why get the first people to buy the product to pose with a smug look on their face?
You wanna know what I think? Well you're reading this blog so I assume you do!
I think that this is a self exciting dynamo of media shit...You need somebody who is able to shout loud enough, to go down to the queue and yell "The Emperor is naked!" enough times so that people who have a smattering of knowledge, begin to think about what it is that they are doing, and perhaps choose to do something else more worthwhile with their cash, like buy a Samsung phone that is cheaper and better.

Apple always do this shit. They sell standard PC parts in a big special box, create a batch of hype about their OS and APs being better, and slap an enormous markup onto those self same PC parts. PC parts that if bought independently and assembled by yourself, can be turned into a dual boot Windows/MAC OS system for a few grand less than you paid for it. Hence if you buy a Mac, you have more money than sense. If you choose to use convenience as an argument, then you are thick and should learn how to use computers, it isn't difficult. A Mac will be equally confusing, bloated and unstable after your lack of knowledge has filled it full of shit.

Similar shit marketing is employed by most German manufacturers who rely on the 'German Engineering' tag to dupe the sheeple into falling into line and buying a BMW/AUDI, but we all know that if you choose to drive either of those cars then you're usually a wanker behind the wheel and fit only for rendering into cat meat.

Saturday, 15 September 2012

Italia Driving

Lovely hols, lovely time.

A few observations about driving.

  • Signage is a joke, it just peters out in many places, bless the sat-nav. But then again, I say that about any country that isn't the UK...but I grew up in Europe due to father in forces so not too blinkered.
  • Men at work, usually stand around in live lanes, protected only by flags and Mother Mary.
  • The police are cracking down on the poor reputation of Italian driving. Everywhere with speed cameras.
  • Toll roads are nice and quiet except rush hour for obvious reasons.
  • Painting of Jesus and or Mary, are secured in little shrines that overlook blind and dangerous junctions...Yes, because cosmic beings will grant you grace to drive safely over a crossroads without beeping, flashing your lights, looking or even slowing down.
  • The National Trust would have a fit over there, beautiful Tuscan hill town, with a bloody great autostrada wrapped around it...Or the best one was the lovely church tower at Osia Sopra, that has a whopping great bridge over the motorway type Autogrill (services) slapped right in front of it.
  • Driving is very much 'Will of God' kind of driving, rather than it being the fault of the drivers. Saw plenty of over turned cars with confused occupants being helped by crowds. Low speed overturnings...How?
  • The authorities clean accidents off of the autostrada quickly. I only spent 45 mins waiting near Geneva, and then they convoyed us past tangled metal, over sanded surfaces. Not like the UK where it's 8 hours needing a piss before a surly policemen informs you that somebody has died. "Not my genes, you've probably taken them to the morgue by now and I need a wee!" is my ex-services answer. I'm never overly shocked by the attempted emotional punch. "Get the sand down and convoy us on our way please."
  • I was nearly killed, several times...

I'll just share one example, from a very very long list.

Car in outside lane, slowly attempting to over-take me at about 1kph faster, on cruise control no doubt. Lorries in usual slow lane, I am in middle lane overtaking lorries.
I see another lorry attempting to join the lane to the right, lorry in slow lane in front of me just pulls into my lane mega early to allow lorry on, no warning to allow me to bleed off speed, luckily though I was already anticipating a situation and was going to pull into the 3rd lane.

The guy in 3rd overtaking lane couldn't give a damn about my predicament and had started to accelerate in order to block off my only escape route. Why did he do that? The utter tossbag.

I still pulled into the 3rd lane though becase I'd rather have a Fiat rear-end me than hit the back of a lorry. Numpty gets mad. Idiots.

In the UK, 99% of us would see that situation develop and back off to let the middle lane escape. Yet in Italy it seems that there is an astonishing lack of awareness or ability to perceive hazards. Will fo God I guess.