Saturday, 28 January 2012

More Advert Pricks

Soooo...The new BT total broadband advert.

Appears to be a man of mid 20s with his own rather decent pad...Probably a job in IT.

Attempting to move in with him are a couple of students, one male and predictably 2012 looking...Wearing whatever the fashion is today (honestly, I laugh whenever I am forced to endure a few minutes of T4 whilst waiting for The Big Bang Theory to start...WTF are they draped in?), one female who is attractive since ugly women are not used in adverts unless they are part of a joke...We're not that much more evolved as a species than cavemen (sorry cavepeople) are we?

Initially, the pad owner tries to dissuade the male from moving in because there is not enough capacity for his internet connection to cope with 3 laptops. The pretence is obvious...The pad owner would like to ejaculate on the attractive female and does not wish to be cock-blocked by the effeminate she-male she has brought with her.

Naturally when pressed as to which broadband provider the flat owener has chosen, the tech savvy male susses that the router on the sideboard is a BT total broadband router and thus capable of coping with aplomb...Then the female does that annoying "women know everything because white males are the only people you can insult on TV without the thought police getting involved," thing. You know what I'm talking about, she dishes out a little smug attitude and her and her accompanying weak male waltz into this guys flat and move in. Did I mention the male student is called Jay...A shit name, for shit people with aspirational parents.

The flat owner is ginger and on the chubby side, thus making him more worthless than the uber groomed couple...At least they're supposed to be uber-groomed, but to me they just like as though they have anorexia, and the male also has stupid fucking hair. When you're all laughing at the fashions of 2011 in x many years time, probably on a program presented by an ageing Noel Fielding, I will be enjoying my enormous "I told you so," moment because I think the fashions are wank now and I'm usually correct (this from the man who wore stonewash until 1995...God bless a Germanic influenced upbringing).

She's a veterinary student, so not only attractive female, but an attractive female with brains that we males, who are in charge of making family decisions about internet providers, are all supposed to want to whack off over. So naturally in this farce the fat ginger male blows his chance to impress her with a gaffe about being allergic to animals. Marvellous, women are empowered, men are all bumbling twats.

Cue some time later, male with shit hair is on the console in flat owners room...Flat owner is on his laptop...The female waltzes in does some mild flirting and smugly insults the owner again regards his obvious joke. Obvious joke is obvious woman, so take that smug look off your face or you'll taste my ring hand.

I hate adverts. They make me wish for the asteroid to come and finish us all off.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

THANK YOU! THANK YOU! THANK YOU! THANK YOU! THANK YOU! THANK YOU! THANK YOU! THANK YOU! I am clearly not the only one who thinks this guy, Simon (portrayed by Daniel Rigby) is a prick!!!