Sunday, 29 January 2012

Average Speed Cameras

For those of you too thick to understand how these things work, let me explain to you the basics.

They measure the time it takes for your numberplate to pass from one SPECS camera to the next along the route you travel. So if you have 10 miles of 50 mph enforced with an average speed limit, there will be a number of cameras along that route all registering the exact time that they record your numberplate passing them.

The distance between each camera is known...The time it has taken for your numberplate to travel between them is known. Thus using simple speed = Distance / time (speed = distance divided by time) calculations, the computer rigged up to the cameras knows the numberplate of every single car that has exceeded the trigger speed along the route.

Fines will be dispatched to the registered address of every car that exceeds this trigger speed.

With this in mind. Please observe the following.

  • Do not tailgate me, I am doing at least 54 mph as it is...I have cruise control.
  • Do not overtake me at 90 mph, and then slam your brakes on and drop to 50 mph seconds before the cameras. Your average speed will only drop to something like 88 mph for the x many miles between cameras.
  • Don't try to undertake and weave back in front of people who are playing by the rules. It annoys us, and makes you look like a prick.

If you break these simple rules, I really would like to kill you via vivisection on national television. Watching you scream the house down as you're opened with a scalpel would be just fine by me, you absolute ignoramus and waste of oxygen.

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