Saturday, 10 November 2012


Watched Skyfall last night...45 minutes of adverts before the film. Forty-fucking-five minutes of people trying to sell me shit. Half the adverts were those pretentious ones that try to sell you an experience instead of a product.

The one that annoyed me the most was for Levi's jeans, because it featured some *cough* inspirational urban poetry about seizing control of life...Because you buy some jeans. Carpe Diem, you're wearing Denim, like 70% of the human race. YOLO so you may as well do it in a hard wearing fabric that has a massive price premium slapped onto it because it is branded. I notice that their Youtube channel has "Go Forth," as it's motto...Well, that is the start of the clean insult we used to use at school when we feared teachers. "Go forth and multiply." So go do it Levi's. You have ticked the A of AIDA with regards me.

But I'll never buy your over-priced pretentious product ever. I am immune to the Veblen Goods effect it seems, I go the other way on principle. BMW, never. AUDI, nope. Rolex, bollex. Cavier tastes like Jizz ("how do you know? etc etc), Champagne is nowhere near as refreshing as Asti Spumante.

Once again I want to yell at you all for not seeing the Emperor is stark bollock naked. I am sick of Planet Earth, and want to see humanity destroyed on the basis of that one crap advert alone. I would link it here but Levi's smugly ask you to subscribe in order to see their latest commercial. Oh...piss off with that, you're not that important, you are chiefly known for making jeans for heaven's sakes.

Oh, and the rest of the shit they were trying to flog was along these lines "buy this watch, it has 007 on it, here's the James Bond music..." or "buy this fragrance it has 007 on the bottle, so it makes you a beefcake secret agent...Oh and here's the music!"

I was so pissed off watching the clock tick round, and there were so many false dawns when I thought we were getting somewhere. The overly loud "this cinema has some loud speakers in it, designed by some cock (THX)," adverts that usually promise the movie is here gave me hope, but no. "There's still time for a coke!" followed by "turn your phone off," followed by more movie trailers for shitty ones about teenagers singing and dancing.

 The film was good...But after paying nearly a tenner for a seat on a Friday night, I don't want 45 minutes of utter shite before starting. At least some arsebeard didn't sit in front of me this time. That would have really gotten my goat.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

The adverts were better than the movie.