Financial Fun and Frolics

Does anybody else think that it is all just a giant confidence game where every time a negative decision, action or result comes in, it just spawns more negativity?

Thus the whole thing becomes a self exciting dynamo of fail. Can't help but thinking that QE should go into the pockets of the taxpayer directly...Many of us would transfer it to the banks via paying off debt and thus increasing our spending power by the repayments per month. They'd get their pound of flesh and the consumer would be more likely to buy things in shops since they'd be x hundred pounds a month happier after clearing debt repayments away, thus hopefully increasing demand and starting the system turning. As it is, the money seemingly vanishes into the pockets of the rich.

Also, the media seem to enjoy telling us we're all fucked, thus further increasing the feeling of helpless doom and driving consumer confidence lower. Worth an experiment to *sinisterly begins to tilt head to side* silence the media regarding the economy in an attempt to control people's mood, don't you think.

I despair at the human race.

I did write a long winded argument decrying how social comforts and too much choice allow people to think they can do stupid fucking things that need nipping off at the bud...But, to be honest...The only people I care about in this issue are the kids...I fear they will be damaged by their upbringing, and will certainly be damaged by the application of societal pressure to conform, because those pressures will be issued by children who are hardly the most diplomatic beings on the planet.

Many of you may have seen an OU show that focused on childhood development, and in one nasty scene the dry commentary is busy explaining how the children were imposing order in the playground in a primitive manner i.e. some poor kid in a snorkle parka was being followed and pushed about by a jeering mob...You then hear the camera crew shout at the bullying mob and the dry commentary continues "This behaviour is interrupted when the camera-crew choose to apply their own adult societal perspective and intervene." Rightly so.

These kids will be bullied to fuckery, and that is wrong.

I'm reminded of Psamtik I and his experiment to see where language came from by wrecking the lives of some children.

Whilst this could be seen as no different to what people do all the time with their children, i.e. impose their views upon them and create semi-clones or religious nutjobs etc...This little scenario seems to fly in the face of nature, hormones, chromosomes etc.

Fish Finger dinner

The humble fish finger sandwich is a work of art.

I'm sure that Jamie Oliver has made a version for laddish twats...Probably called it something like 'Jamie's Dad's Post Pub Finger banger...' Complete with a poorly written back story about said relative naming it after some night out cavorting or other...And the sheeple lap it up and buy lots of his books.

Anyway.

Fish fingers...How many? 4 of course, 2 slices of white, a cheese slice and some mayo. Then if you're feeling particularly hungry (perhaps after a poorly written back story event) make another 4 fish finger sarnie, on white, but this time with Maggi sauce on them.

Mmmm.

Controlling Ejaculation

Ninja Style

Seriously though...WTF? I mean, the music alone is now stuck in my head...and if I want to see two beefcakes and a ninja play with their bollocks, I've got a guy I call to sort me some of that out...

The whole thing is an unintentional masterwork of comic genius.

• Their deadpan straight faces that don't even crack, even when they're jostling their nads, on camera, 81 times after minute 3.
• The cheesy music.
• The constant repetation of the words 'testicles' and 'anal muscles.'
• Plus, the two topless fellas made me think that Hall and Oates have been hitting the gym.

New TV Comedy

So. Plenty of new comedy on TV at the moment.

Fast and Loose?

Notice Dan Patterson (the man behind Whose Line is it Anyway), is the driving force of this little show. I quite like it, simple throwaway fun for a Friday...Plus it brings Laura Solon and her square (yet somehow alluring) jaw to the screen, and I've always had a thing for Jess Ransom after seeing her in Georgian finery on the Armstrong and Miller show, being chatted up in a most salacious way.

10 o'clock live.

Charlie Brooker, Carr and Mitchell, churning out the same stuff with a hefty hint of bias, but then again that is what channel 4 is about. Entertaining, but having a baying student age audience kind of influences the style of humour that will get a laugh. Do like how Carr is clearly enjoying pushing the boundaries. Lauren is always going to make me throw out the question "what happened to the other females in Kenickie?" You remember them? The fat one? TV is cruel.

TV ruined your life

Charlie Charlie Charlie, what have you done? Chased the pound notes in order to fund your lifestyle (probably a millionaire with his missus now). It appears to be a straight forward regurgitation of Screenwipe, I have noticed several jokes and scenarios repeated...And since Screenwipe was his column turned into TV, it is a case of money for old rope. Cue lots of comments and clichés from me in the vein of returning to the well once too often.

The Cuts...

I'm reserving judgement until October...

But, I am well aware that the huge budget hole needs filling, and who's fault that one was. Spending more cash than the country makes, during the good times! Well done, well done. Idiots, did they really believe they had cured Boom and Bust? I was busy trying to explain that "Labour only looks good because they are buying lots of shiny things on the 'Nation's Credit Card,' " for my super pro-Labour (coal mining, Barnsley) side of the family way back in 2004.

However, I am also aware of the way the media prefers to spin a drama into a crisis at every opportunity and this one is a hum-dinger that will fill air-time for months...Also, I know that Labour spent millions of pounds of taxpayers money trying to control the media, so that they could pretend everything was Hunky Dory. Perhaps people like that, part of me says that a constant drip-feed of depressing news will just breed more negativity...Thus perhaps media manipulation is a good thing?

This lot, don't seem to be as savvy with journalists (or more prudent, I don't have the full facts regards how much they're forking out for PR), and thus without a Campbell breathing down their necks, the media seem to be lining up to beat the shit out of them come October. I wouldn't be surprised if the BBC stick a doomsday countdown in the bottom right of every TV show they broadcast on October the 1st. Also, a minister being tough and taking a firm line, seems to be reported as the minister being an unsympathetic robot. What do the media want? Labour tried to be sweetness and nice and keep things positive even when they were royally fucking things up. The media spit roasted them. This mob are all "Look, shit is happening! Deal with it!" and the media are spitting on their dicks waiting for Halloween.

Still, my hopes that a coalition would cancel out the worst sides of both parties has just highlighted to me with depressing clarity...Why walk the centre ground? You will merely piss off the left wing and the right wing in equal measure because your left will not be left enough, nor your right right enough.

It's time the parties drifted back to their roots.

So come October, I may be out on my arse...I may have to cease to be a public servant, and sell my soul to the private sector once more. Go and work for a bank...Well if you can't beat them.

That or lead the revolution :D

A Dripfed 2 Minute Production