Just minding my own business in Whiterun ( a city in Skyrim) when I am stopped in the street by a rather surly gentleman.
"Do you get to the Cloud District very often?" he barks..."Oh what am I saying - of course you don't... "
For those not familiar with the game, he's basically telling me that I am scum and unworthy of hanging about in the presence of the decision makers of Whiterun.
So to deal with his insult...firstly, yes I do! I am a Thane of Whiterun so the Cloud District is most certainly part of my patch.
Secondly..."Say what Nazeem you cheeky motherfu..! I am Dovahkiin, the hero of Skyrim and friend to all the most powerful people in the country...But most worryingly for you I am also the evil bugger in charge of the Dark Brotherhood and I don't take too kindly to jumped up farty little blow-hards like yourself trying to add inches to their willy!"
The following actions were viewed, almost as a slide-show, through a red mist and a veil of screaming voices. :-)
*Casts Soul Trap*
*Beheads Nazeem with my two handed Ebony Blade named 'Mordegard'*
*Uses Black Soul gem to capture and hold Nazeem's pitiful and withered soul*
*Enchants the cheapest and most feeble steel dagger I could find with Nazeem's tormented essence*
*Creeps into Nazeem's home at night
*Slits his wife's throat with the same steel blade*
*Imagines Nazeem's torment through glazed eyes, and pulls a shit eating grin*
*Hurls blooded dagger into the sewers of Riften*
*Lets Nazeem rust and suffer forever in a fermenting shit hole*
Don't mess with me, I have unresolved issues...
Monday, 23 January 2012
Sunday, 22 January 2012
Opposition grows to benefit cap
Opposition grows to benefit cap screams the headline.
Opposition certainly isn't growing amongst those who work hard and pay tax, and are worse off than societies burden because so much of their money goes towards paying for others.
Opposition seems to only grow in the hearts of those who can afford to sneer at the Tories, e.g. the Lib Dems, the clergy, the Islingtonites.
Champagne Socialism is seemingly alive and well...About time the silent oppressed majority started shouting a bit louder. We don't mind paying for social welfare, but it must be fair and not given freely to those who seemingly cannot be arsed to work.
Opposition certainly isn't growing amongst those who work hard and pay tax, and are worse off than societies burden because so much of their money goes towards paying for others.
Opposition seems to only grow in the hearts of those who can afford to sneer at the Tories, e.g. the Lib Dems, the clergy, the Islingtonites.
Champagne Socialism is seemingly alive and well...About time the silent oppressed majority started shouting a bit louder. We don't mind paying for social welfare, but it must be fair and not given freely to those who seemingly cannot be arsed to work.
Monday, 16 January 2012
The BBC Domesday Project
Any of you older farts remember the Domesday project? The BBC funded desire to collate a picture of the times from the efforts of schoolchildren and locals, and then parcel it up in an expensive laser disk that they'd flog back to schools.
I was in Germany at the time, but we still got a single laser disk player and a copy of the Domesday project at our school (St Andrew's, JHQ, Rheindahlen) to keep us in touch with the motherland.
Being a bit of a Sheldon Cooper, I found Primary school work to be a piece of piss and so was frequently sent out to work on the computers with my more intellectual friends or else we'd become bored and disruptive. We used to sit at the single Domesday project BBC Master machine and, with open mouthed wonder, explore the UK.
I'm busily exploring what I consider to be my hometown of Barnsley...Now, the Domesday project was a product of 1986, so it makes very interesting reading when you open up documents penned by children who are repeating their fathers words (the teachers seemed to just ask children to take some pictures, and ask people in their area about the area...So it's easier to ask dad). Already seen numerous pieces about the miners strike, distilled through a 6 year olds mind.
It's all rather fascinating, 86 being the turning point when the economy got going again and unemployment began to tumble, but poor Barnsley was in the process of being fucked by the death of its key industry in coal mining.
Have also wandered around various former RAF bases and seen how kids interpret their dads jobs. Very telling point about all the Chief Techs being made redundant because there was too many of them at one base, it happens a certain length of time after a recruitment freeze...The promotion goes on, but there aren't enough people at the bottom of the pyramid. Also a wing commanders daughter interviewed her dad...He had an easy life that seemed to consist of cups of tea, eating, and answering the telephone. Ah the Cold War, lots of sitting around waiting for the balloon to go up, and going on oodles of adventure training (piss-ups and paintball) at taxpayers expense.
I was in Germany at the time, but we still got a single laser disk player and a copy of the Domesday project at our school (St Andrew's, JHQ, Rheindahlen) to keep us in touch with the motherland.
Being a bit of a Sheldon Cooper, I found Primary school work to be a piece of piss and so was frequently sent out to work on the computers with my more intellectual friends or else we'd become bored and disruptive. We used to sit at the single Domesday project BBC Master machine and, with open mouthed wonder, explore the UK.
I'm busily exploring what I consider to be my hometown of Barnsley...Now, the Domesday project was a product of 1986, so it makes very interesting reading when you open up documents penned by children who are repeating their fathers words (the teachers seemed to just ask children to take some pictures, and ask people in their area about the area...So it's easier to ask dad). Already seen numerous pieces about the miners strike, distilled through a 6 year olds mind.
It's all rather fascinating, 86 being the turning point when the economy got going again and unemployment began to tumble, but poor Barnsley was in the process of being fucked by the death of its key industry in coal mining.
Have also wandered around various former RAF bases and seen how kids interpret their dads jobs. Very telling point about all the Chief Techs being made redundant because there was too many of them at one base, it happens a certain length of time after a recruitment freeze...The promotion goes on, but there aren't enough people at the bottom of the pyramid. Also a wing commanders daughter interviewed her dad...He had an easy life that seemed to consist of cups of tea, eating, and answering the telephone. Ah the Cold War, lots of sitting around waiting for the balloon to go up, and going on oodles of adventure training (piss-ups and paintball) at taxpayers expense.
Sunday, 8 January 2012
HS2. A necessary evil
I am not surprised that so many people are against HS2...Because people are, on the whole, ignorant of the wider world outside their limited sphere.
If you look at the comments on the beeb's have your say bit, it is quite clear to me that the majority of people commenting believe that the project is 'only' about the following and hence should be opposed:-
a) It makes it 20 minutes quicker to Birmingham
b) It costs £32bn right now
c) It will only benefit businessmen who got us into the mess etc
d) It will wreck the Chilterns
They choose to ignore that it is plonking passengers onto a high-speed line in order to free up the WCML corridor for freight and stopping services that serve MK etc. Freight traffic that will bring economic and environmental benefits such as taking lorrys off of the motorways and reducing wasted emissions from traffic congestion...Plus a train pulling 30 odd containers is more economic than 30 trucks.
The negative naysayers choose to ignore the fact that the UK is in competition globally for inward investment and without a robust infrastructure, risks being bypassed in favour of countries that grasp the nettle and don't wish to be seen as museum nations.
They choose to ignore the very real benefits of linking one of the worlds greatest cities to its UK hinterland, in order to share the wealth more fairly throughout the UK. If you bring Birmingham within an acceptable commuting time to London then you will drastically change the prospects of the West-Midlands. Sub 1 hour on a train, centre to centre, would be brilliant.
As it is, many of the sheeple repeat only what scare stories they read about or see on the news...They lack the cognitive ability to independently investigate and come to a reasoned conclusion. Hence minority views are whipped up into a self fulfilling feeding frenzy. Witness the minority that brought roads to prosperity to an end because they opposed linking Southampton Docks to the wider world with something more than a congested old dual-carriageway and/or a crawl through a congested town centre.
During this last round of environmental protest, the media even chose to elevate a protester from the ranks and parade him in front of the cameras. Just think of the further damage to the prosperity to this country if the person they chose was actually able to be funny on his one and only Have I got News for You appearance.
Goods sat in traffic = a loss to the economy that the consumer bares whether directly or indirectly. When put like that I think most of the 'Brighthouse' wonders would baulk at the cost of relying on our ageing and congested infrastructure if they saw just how many £s it added onto the cost of their fags and flatscreen TVs.
If you look at the comments on the beeb's have your say bit, it is quite clear to me that the majority of people commenting believe that the project is 'only' about the following and hence should be opposed:-
a) It makes it 20 minutes quicker to Birmingham
b) It costs £32bn right now
c) It will only benefit businessmen who got us into the mess etc
d) It will wreck the Chilterns
They choose to ignore that it is plonking passengers onto a high-speed line in order to free up the WCML corridor for freight and stopping services that serve MK etc. Freight traffic that will bring economic and environmental benefits such as taking lorrys off of the motorways and reducing wasted emissions from traffic congestion...Plus a train pulling 30 odd containers is more economic than 30 trucks.
The negative naysayers choose to ignore the fact that the UK is in competition globally for inward investment and without a robust infrastructure, risks being bypassed in favour of countries that grasp the nettle and don't wish to be seen as museum nations.
They choose to ignore the very real benefits of linking one of the worlds greatest cities to its UK hinterland, in order to share the wealth more fairly throughout the UK. If you bring Birmingham within an acceptable commuting time to London then you will drastically change the prospects of the West-Midlands. Sub 1 hour on a train, centre to centre, would be brilliant.
As it is, many of the sheeple repeat only what scare stories they read about or see on the news...They lack the cognitive ability to independently investigate and come to a reasoned conclusion. Hence minority views are whipped up into a self fulfilling feeding frenzy. Witness the minority that brought roads to prosperity to an end because they opposed linking Southampton Docks to the wider world with something more than a congested old dual-carriageway and/or a crawl through a congested town centre.
During this last round of environmental protest, the media even chose to elevate a protester from the ranks and parade him in front of the cameras. Just think of the further damage to the prosperity to this country if the person they chose was actually able to be funny on his one and only Have I got News for You appearance.
Goods sat in traffic = a loss to the economy that the consumer bares whether directly or indirectly. When put like that I think most of the 'Brighthouse' wonders would baulk at the cost of relying on our ageing and congested infrastructure if they saw just how many £s it added onto the cost of their fags and flatscreen TVs.
Wednesday, 4 January 2012
Tales from Skyrim
Skyrim. The northern most country on the continent of Tamriel. Populated by Nords, basically Viking types. The video game Skyrim is set in the aforementioned continent (natch).
This is my character, sat upon my his fine steed...Mr. Sugarlumps.
Notice I am a High-Elf, Altmer, dressed in my finest Elven armour, looking very swish and superior. I like to strut around as a God amongst mortals :D
Knowing all about Skyrim's politics as you do, you're probably aware that the Altmer are part of the Thalmor and the Nords don't like them very much. With this in mind, it was rather entertaining to be allowed to Waltz into the court of Ulfric Stormcloak (chief Nord freedom fighter) in Windhelm without an eyelid even flickering. I was then able to engage in conversation with Ulfric and join his little revolution, and was entrusted with valuable mission data that could have allowed the Thalmor to destroy Ulfric totally with very little effort. Only one minor character thought to sneer "Elf" at me as I walked past.
Another little spot, I do like how my house in Windhelm, still has the bloodstains all over it from an earlier quest scenario involving lots of brutal murder in there! You'd think the steward would have cleaned it for me at some point during the redecoration. Yes, I do like to show my guests "murder corner," where lots of women have been dismembered. Then I wheel out the truckle bed and let them sleep over the gore stains. I find it stops unwelcome relatives from making repeat visits.
To add a little background...A sad moment occurred last night...They...they...Those fucking Forsworn (another faction)...They killed Mr. Sugarlumps!
I spent the next few hours systematically exterminating them without mercy. It's what he would have wanted, after a paradisical carrot.
This is my character, sat upon my his fine steed...Mr. Sugarlumps.
Notice I am a High-Elf, Altmer, dressed in my finest Elven armour, looking very swish and superior. I like to strut around as a God amongst mortals :D
Knowing all about Skyrim's politics as you do, you're probably aware that the Altmer are part of the Thalmor and the Nords don't like them very much. With this in mind, it was rather entertaining to be allowed to Waltz into the court of Ulfric Stormcloak (chief Nord freedom fighter) in Windhelm without an eyelid even flickering. I was then able to engage in conversation with Ulfric and join his little revolution, and was entrusted with valuable mission data that could have allowed the Thalmor to destroy Ulfric totally with very little effort. Only one minor character thought to sneer "Elf" at me as I walked past.
Another little spot, I do like how my house in Windhelm, still has the bloodstains all over it from an earlier quest scenario involving lots of brutal murder in there! You'd think the steward would have cleaned it for me at some point during the redecoration. Yes, I do like to show my guests "murder corner," where lots of women have been dismembered. Then I wheel out the truckle bed and let them sleep over the gore stains. I find it stops unwelcome relatives from making repeat visits.
To add a little background...A sad moment occurred last night...They...they...Those fucking Forsworn (another faction)...They killed Mr. Sugarlumps!
I spent the next few hours systematically exterminating them without mercy. It's what he would have wanted, after a paradisical carrot.
Tuesday, 20 December 2011
Biased Broadcasting Corporation
Yes it is a cliché, but this is only a small example and hey, I like to kick the bee hive from time to time.
The BBC appear to be putting the boot into Borris's buses.
Notice how the headline on the 'most popular' is "New Routemaster Bus Breaks Down!" This being the headline, it will stick in your mind if you choose not to read the story, thus making you think that the Routemaster buses were a crap idea....Although if you do, you're probably aware of the power of marketing, Veblen goods etc...The new Routemaster is attempting to be a marketable icon. At the very least it is different.
Only if you click on the story are you told that the bus ran out of fuel on the M1 because somebody forgot to fuel it at london before driving it to the Millbrook testing ground.
The copy on the main England page hides the fuel issue in smaller text under the charge of breaking down. Breaking down implies mechanical failure to me, and probably everybody else with more than half a brain. Running out of fuel happens to tossers, but isn't the fault of the vehicle.
But that doesn't let some news editor, with an axe to grind, show Borris in a bad light now does it...Or am I being cynical? Still want to wipe out the BBC though :D
Again disclaimer for anybody who doesn't get that the last statement is a joke.
The BBC appear to be putting the boot into Borris's buses.
Notice how the headline on the 'most popular' is "New Routemaster Bus Breaks Down!" This being the headline, it will stick in your mind if you choose not to read the story, thus making you think that the Routemaster buses were a crap idea....Although if you do, you're probably aware of the power of marketing, Veblen goods etc...The new Routemaster is attempting to be a marketable icon. At the very least it is different.
Only if you click on the story are you told that the bus ran out of fuel on the M1 because somebody forgot to fuel it at london before driving it to the Millbrook testing ground.
The copy on the main England page hides the fuel issue in smaller text under the charge of breaking down. Breaking down implies mechanical failure to me, and probably everybody else with more than half a brain. Running out of fuel happens to tossers, but isn't the fault of the vehicle.
But that doesn't let some news editor, with an axe to grind, show Borris in a bad light now does it...Or am I being cynical? Still want to wipe out the BBC though :D
Again disclaimer for anybody who doesn't get that the last statement is a joke.
Saturday, 10 December 2011
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