Where do you begin with these arseholes?

Argentina, a country stolen from a native population by European invaders...But since that happened a long time ago, it has become a moot point and it is generally accepted that Argentina has the right to self determination. A chance to vote in its own corrupt and idiotic rulers, who fleece the crap out of the place, bring the economy to its knees and generally squander the future of the population (rather like the UK then, oh ho ho ho).

But what does a plastic faced near transexual (IMHO), do when the country she is running is falling apart at the seams, why she looks for a diversion and points to some islands on the map nearby that she thinks should belong to her country. "If I scream and shout and demand these islands and complain and bitch, people will not pay attention to how I am skull-fucking the national exchequer!" Just like in 1982, when times is hard, rattle the sabre. I know there is a whole generation of people in the UK who hate Thatcher and think the Falklands war of '82 was wrong because we sank a ship and killed some people and blah blah blah. But those people are historically ignorant fuckwits and are welcome to comment, I'll just mock them with facts and abuse in equal measure because I have emotions approaching hatred for those kind of people. Weak people who like to whip themselves in a hair shirt to show how awesome and pious they are...In the absence of having a religious cause to follow, because they're secular (like me, but I am scientifically secular and seek no cause), they award themselves their own type of self and personal hatred to follow.......I'll leave it there, but there are whole essays to compile about self hating westerners, and the reasons behind their self imposed misery.

Anyway, I digress as usual. Oh yes...So Argentina then. It's going tits up, and is hence pestering the UK with its bullshit cause again. Give us back some land that is nearby and we think should be ours...And this isn't because there is potentially lots of oil around it. Kirchner wrote a letter to the UN and David Cameron, demanding that the UK talk to her re: sovereignty of the Falklands, and craftily published her letter in the Guardian and the Independent...The former paper is an uber leftie rag that is failing, read by the aforementioned self hating westerner types, the latter hides its left leaning nature behind the cloak of being independent. Being published in those papers gave her a chance of being heard by the flagilists who read them, the rest of us just point and laugh and mention that:

• The Kelpers (Falkland Islands Population) have lived there since before Argentina gained independence from Spain.
• Spain recognises the Falklands as British Territory.
•  Argentina is a product of Colonialism, much of it was also stolen from Peru.
• Argentina only exists because the Pope thought he had the right to divvy the globe up.
• The UN dictates that everyone has the right to self-determination.
• The Kelpers choose to be British.
• Argentina invaded in 1982 and took the islands by force.
• The captain of the Belgrano has publicly stated that the UK was well within its rights to sink it.
• Argentina has been pushing its claim again, ever since oil was found.

Using Kirchner's argument, I propose that we claim big chunks of France for the UK, because they expelled us way back in history, and it's only 20 odd miles away at its closest. The Falklands are about 500km (300+ miles) away from Argentina, so since France is only 20 something away from the UK, surely that means we have a HUGE right to claim it then.

Oh and, get a load of this BBC Linky. The Have your Say comments are laughable, and populated by historically ignorant tossbags.

Some quotes, that I have annotated with my insightful and well argued responses...

"The way to defuse this is by making the Falklands as international and multi cultural as possible, so that all sorts of folk from all corners of the world can live and work there.

Digging in & flag waving is precisely wrong thing to do. That is playing the Argentine game. National boundaries are falling away everywhere. Increase Falklands links with Chile & Brazil. Only sensible way to carry on" My response. Oh fuck off.

"It is an island which is 8000 miles from the UK.

Give the Malvinas back, we don't want another war." My response. Oh fuck off.

"$6 Trillion, is the value of the 60 Bn barrels of crude under Falkland Islands.

Let's face it, the UK is going to do everything it can to keep six trillion dollars even if that means sending marmite to the islands every second week.

That will ensure they vote the right way at the election !! My response. Oh fuck off.

You get the point. Come the revolution, those tossbags will be in the soil quick sharp ;-)

Tin earring

School.

How come it was always the supposed hard-men, the badasses, who wore earrings?

I used to have trouble with this, great trouble...If you know me, you probably know that I tend to view the world slightly differently from what is considered normal. I also tend not to give a toss about falling into role or line as expected hence...I'm not autistic or anything, let's just clear that up now. I just have a healthy grasp of observing things and not bothering to get involved with things that don't interest me. Anyway, I used to have great trouble with the badasses wearing earrings.
They'd decide that it was my turn for a spot of attention, and I'd sort of look at them with a puzzled expression and cut them off halfway through their bluster with something like...

"But you're wearing earrings? My mum wears earrings...As does my gran...my aunties...You're attempting to threaten me whilst cross-dressing? Get stuffed."

Naturally they didn't get it and thought my reasoned observation was a request to have my head kicked in. That one was always phrased as a question.
"Do you want your head kicking in?".........
"Hmmm...let me think about that one...Wait one...Just chewing it over...Tip of my tongue...Phone a friend....No!"

Thing is, if they phrased it as a statement e.g.
"We're going to kick your head in!"
I would still be annoyed by the fact that somebody who walks like they have polio, or a startled cat...And wears a pathetic earring...Could assume they have the right to attack my person.

Since my reaction to their threats was one of casual, mocking, disinterest, I guess that it helped to have an older brother, and it probably also helped that I tended to become a psychopath if pushed when I was younger...Yeah I'm not autistic, but you should see my lampshades, real human skin. That or my logic caused the fuses to blow in their poor excuses for brains, and lead to them being unable to process the information required for them to actually harm me.

Always amused me that every gang of hard-men has their tiny mini badass. The little smug weedy shit, who for some reason the bigger ones look after. Thing is, these bitch-asses are like bait in the trap. You'd be in the supermarket and this little tosser toerag starts getting in your face, so you mock and or push past him...Then the polio kids all surround you and start showing you how wide they can stretch their arms and necks.

David Cameron, hug a hoody, remember that? He was nearly there...If only he'd said "tear the skin from hoodies in the town centre every Saturday morning, and then hurl their still beating hearts into a fire," I might have voted for the prick. As it was, Since no political party has promised this course of action in their manifesto, you and I will continue to have to deal with these tin earring wearing arses for the rest of our lives.

Although, since none of us will have a pension by the time we're in our 80s, I've decided I'll probably stab a thug to death and get free board and lodging off the taxpayer.

Olympic fun

The opening ceremony was awesome. Defused my cynicism....

The events so far have been pleasing. The media has been whipping everybody up into a storm and then losing their shit when the 'mere' athletes fail to perform. Asian countries have been caught out cheating...it's what happens when you get too competitive and see the Olympics as 'yet another' chance to prove the mighty West isn't as mighty was it was. Why don't you chill out Asia, and stop viewing life as one big dick comparison...We might then make our way to Mars and beyond united, instead of perishing in the inevitable oil shortage induced nuclear fire.

Borris is his usual ebullient self. Even getting hung up on a zip-wire couldn't make him suffer a ratings bashing...If anything, the very fact he doesn't take anything seriously, and holds his hands up when things go wrong, and swears at Livingstone when riled etc...Well it just demonstrates a certain honesty to me. I much prefer people who wear their hearts on their sleeves, than slimy bastards like Blair and Cameron...You never know what slimy bastards are trying to hide. With Borris, it's already out in the open, and he's trodden it up and down the mat.

One thing that does entertain me is this...Hollande having a go at the UK re: our shortage of medals, and our winning the Olympics bid.

Since this news broke, the UK has overtaken France in the medals table; and whilst I do not care about medals...the very idea that a French President is using it as a length measuring device...Get stuffed you jealous chode. I do not even care if France overtake us again and are above us in the table at the end. I would rather the French President grew up a little though.

Oh and, well done Team GB.

Scaremongering

Get this latest from the beeb election ticker:-

1048: "There's a substantial risk to the peace process" if the Conservatives win the election, says Northern Ireland Secretary Shaun Woodward. He tells Sky News that Tory cuts to public spending would damage community policing. He says Labour has made great achievements by helping bring political stability to Northern Ireland and David Cameron could jeopardise that.

What a cock. What an utter cock to use the troubles as a 'vote me.' Now, I expect cut and thrust and mistrust etc during this last week, it is an election campaign after all...But this, to use the threat of returning to terrorism, as an reason to vote Labour! Jesus H. Christ they've turned into George W.

The Great TV Debate

For the purposes of this election...I am a Tory. Thus would love to award victory to Cameron in tonight's historic TV debate. But alas, I cannot.

In this matter, it was all about the TV debate. Nothing more, nothing less. Screw policy and the ability to stick to your argument etc. What people at home saw was the performance of these three individuals. Hence, whomever was more relaxed and convincing in front of the camera, (not in front of the audience) would come out on top.

Both Gord' and Dave' had huge expectation on their shoulders...A colossal weight on them, I admire both of them for not having stress related heart failure to be honest! Nick had none of that pressure, he had nothing to lose. Thus, no matter what he said, his body language was that of somebody at ease, somebody who exuded assuredness and confidence. The camera notices these things, and boy was it apparent.

Gordon pissed me off when he began to lecture Cameron like a headmaster "David, David..David...What I want you...etc!" Cameron pissed me off when he stuck to his Jobs Tax line (Jesus Christ man, you have so much more to offer, I ranted!). But Nick, free from pressure, and knowing that both Cameron and Brown cannot afford to alienate him in a potential hung parliament situation...Well, he was loving it, and boy did it come across.

The internet polls are strongly Clegg, as expected...Labour 2nd, and Cameron 3rd. To be honest, I expected this from the internet demographic where left leaning ideas and a youthful audience are prevalent (once people start paying shit loads of tax, or began to plough through neo-socialist paperwork and targets, they turn Tory).

Sky is placing Cameron as the Winner...What a surprise! Other agencies put Cameron second.

In my heart of hearts, I wanted Cameron to walk this, I expected him to walk it...He is the most natural performer at PMQs and Tory conferences...But he didn't. The weight of expectation and the unfamiliar environment seemed to stifle him a little. I hope that with the fear of the unknown removed, he will kick ass next time. But I think Clegg will continue to walk the TV debates unless he overtakes Labour as the second place party! Then things may change as the pressure would mount on him to deliver a result.